When you’re feeling down and out, or generally just low, do you ever feel pressured to pull yourself out of it as soon as possible? To constantly appear happy? But what if we accept that not being okay, is very much part of being okay; how might this impact life?
But let’s be honest. There are going to be days in this life when you’re not okay. Days when no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to find the positive and good in the world around you. Days that seem dark. What I want you to know is that it’s okay to have days like this. I try to remain as positive as possible in life’s obstacles. But I also have days when I just can’t seem to do this. Days when the good seems elusive and just beyond my reach. Days when I can hardly see through the tears. “I also have days when I’m not okay.”
Recently, I’ve been feeling quite down, for various reasons dealing with some repressed emotions that have surfaced, and just generally feeling a bit lost. And I feel a real expectation, from no one in particular, or maybe from myself, I don’t know, to pull myself out of this funk, immediately. What I want you to know is that having days like this does not mean that you are failing. It does not mean that something is wrong with you or that you’re doing something wrong. It simply means that you are human.
What I’ve realized is that whilst I may not be my ‘ordinary self’, I am being my truest self, in that moment. And that is why it is okay not to be okay. So often I get old to ‘be grateful for what I have’ and to ‘have some perspective’, and I find it so frustrating. Just because everything else in your life is normal, doesn’t mean your feelings of sadness should be invalidated.
I am grateful…I do have perspective. But I’m also HUMAN. And I believe it is natural to have emotional highs and lows. You can wear a smile on your face, be well composed, and be in a loving relationship, really enjoy your job and all other positive things and still not be okay… and trust me that’s okay. Because you can be both grateful and woeful at the exact same time and that these emotions can, and do, co-exist.
Know that it’s okay…It’s okay to not be okay. Don’t resist feeling ‘bad’ just because it seems like you’re the only one who feels lonely or lost or unmotivated but you’re not. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing and remember that we all know what it’s like to “not be okay” even if most of us don’t talk about it. All those feelings are normal, we all go through this sometimes. Is it a fun place to be? Fuck no! But it doesn’t last forever. Whenever I’m feeling like this, I get paralyzed with self-doubt. Oh God! wtf is wrong with me?!” .
What I’ve learnt is that difficult times do pass, even when they seem to last forever. And when I have come through the other side on previous occasions, I have felt enlightened because it is an opportunity to re-evaluate what I want, how I’m going to get there and who I want on the journey with me.
I think it is so important that we take the pressure off ourselves to ‘figure it all out instantly’ and learn to take the time that we need to feel blue and let time be a healer. And I know it sounds cliché, but after having low periods, you really do come out stronger, knowing yourself better and naturally bounce back quicker the next time it happens.